The Art of Letting go- ( and holding on)
I hadn’t been writing for a while.
Maybe I loved the outward silence it projected.
Sometimes, deceiving the world around about the beats playing inside your head is an act of doting on yourself.
It even helps trick your own mind into an inebriated melancholy.
The Akvarellblock papers you bought for me from the shop opposite the park—the one with the big bougainvillea fence—lay untouched, covered in the dust of my disownment.
The words I once mustered with ease have now abandoned me, for the emotions they fed on were drained out while scribbling those letters never sent to you.
Isn’t it strange—how the things you once held close to your heart lose their magic and charm over time? Or how we teach ourselves they no longer matter?
Walking with you every evening was one of the most important routines of my life.
Now, as I sit here alone, watching those familiar evening strollers, all I wonder is...
Was it ever important to you?
I was never afraid to voice my feelings.
But somehow, I lost the art of playing them in soft tunes.
How strange it is—to watch someone walk away from your life, and to feel the numbness in your heart…
That moment when you're left holding the weight of an entire universe you once built together—alone—
Trying hard not to drop it, and still watching it scatter all around you.
For a while, you even forget to breathe.
You gave me such superpowers.
You made me realize parts of myself I never knew existed.
Maybe I should thank you here.
I was just an ordinary soul, with some scratches and stitches here and there.
Hope was my religion; miracles, my belief.
You made me feel special—if only for a while—
Only to shake me up to reality and drop me back into my ordinariness…
Leaving everything that happened between us as nothing but a mirage.
But now that I’ve outgrown your disinterest,
The one thing that once weighed me down,
I can rightfully claim my share of the wisdom that was once hidden from me—
Now revealed and bestowed by your sheer indifference.
You don’t really lose people from your life.
You don’t stop loving them either.
You just get used to the distance and their absence.
You learn to hum along to the music in your heart,
And begin to enjoy its rhythm alone.
But deep down, your heart still misses a beat to every rhythm,
And it brings a moistness to your eyes.
Still, it’s life after all…
Just another win-win game.
You have to play along until you’ve lost all its beats.
Well… needless to say,
I do like the pause and replay button
A lot more than Ctrl + Alt + Delete.
So here I am…
Refurbishing, once again, the best story of my life.
